Stress Management: Marriage and Family Therapist

Rochester Marriage Counseling.com
Mark S. White, MS, LMFT
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist
Individual, Couple and Family Therapy

Board Certified Plastic Surgeons

About the Practice

Rochester Marriage Counseling.com Stress Management FAQ

What are some of the most common causes of stress?
What are some early signs of stress?
How do women tend to react to stress?
How does stress affect my body and my health?
What are some of the most stressful life events?
What is post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)?
How can I help handle my stress?
I heard deep breathing could help my stress. How do I do it?
Does stress cause ulcers?

What are some of the most common causes of stress?
Stress can arise for a variety of reasons. Stress can be brought about by a traumatic accident, death, or emergency situation. Stress can also be a side effect of a serious illness or disease.

There is also stress associated with daily life, the workplace, and family responsibilities. It’s hard to stay calm and relaxed in our hectic lives. With all we have going on in our lives, it seems almost impossible to find ways to de-stress. But it’s important to find those ways. Your health depends on it.

What are some early signs of stress?
Stress can take on many different forms, and can contribute to symptoms of illness. Common symptoms include headache, sleep disorders, difficulty concentrating, short-temper, upset stomach, job dissatisfaction, low morale, depression, and anxiety.

How do women tend to react to stress?
We all deal with stressful things like traffic, arguments with spouses, and job problems. Some researchers think that women handle stress in a unique way: tend and befriend.

Tend: women protect and care for their children

Befriend: women seek out and receive social support

During stress, women tend to care for their children and find support from their female friends. Women’s bodies make chemicals that are believed to promote these responses. One of these chemicals is oxytocin (ahk-see-toe-sin), which has a calming effect during stress. This is the same chemical released during childbirth and found at higher levels in breastfeeding mothers, who are believed to be calmer and more social than women who don’t breastfeed. Women also have the hormone estrogen, which boosts the effects of oxytocin. Men, however, have high levels of testosterone during stress, which blocks the calming effects of oxytocin and causes hostility, withdrawal, and anger.

How does stress affect my body and my health?
Everyone has stress. We have short-term stress, like getting lost while driving or missing the bus. Even everyday events, such as planning a meal or making time for errands, can be stressful. This kind of stress can make us feel worried or anxious.

Other times, we face long-term stress, such as racial discrimination, a life-threatening illness, or divorce. These stressful events also affect your health on many levels. Long-term stress is real and can increase your risk for some health problems, like depression.

Both short and long-term stress can have effects on your body. Research is starting to show the serious effects of stress on our bodies. Stress triggers changes in our bodies and makes us more likely to get sick. It can also make problems we already have worse. It can play a part in these problems:

trouble sleeping

lack of concentration

eating too much or not at all

higher risk of asthma and arthritis flare-ups

stomach cramping

stomach bloating

skin problems, like hives

weight gain or loss

high blood pressure

irritable bowel syndrome

neck and/or back pain

less sexual desire

difficulty getting pregnant

What are some of the most stressful life events?
Any change in our lives can be stressful―even some of the happiest ones like having a baby or taking a new job. Here are some of life’s most stressful events.

death of a spouse
divorce
marital separation
spending time in jail
death of a close family member
personal illness or injury
marriage
pregnancy
retirement

From the Holmes and Rahe Scale of Life Events (1967)

What is post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)?
Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) can be a debilitating condition that can occur after exposure to a terrifying event or ordeal in which grave physical harm occurred or was threatened. Traumatic events that can trigger PTSD include violent personal assaults such as rape or mugging, natural or human-caused disasters, accidents, or military combat.

Many people with PTSD repeatedly re-experience the ordeal in the form of flashback episodes, memories, nightmares, or frightening thoughts, especially when they are exposed to events or objects that remind them of the trauma. Anniversaries of the event can also trigger symptoms. People with PTSD also can have emotional numbness, sleep disturbances, depression, anxiety, irritability, or outbursts of anger. Feelings of intense guilt (called survivor guilt) are also common, particularly if others did not survive the traumatic event.

Most people who are exposed to a traumatic, stressful event have some symptoms of PTSD in the days and weeks following the event, but the symptoms generally disappear. But about 8% of men and 20% of women go on to develop PTSD, and roughly 30% of these people develop a chronic, or long-lasting, form that persists throughout their lives.

How can I help handle my stress?
Don’t let stress make you sick. Often we aren’t even aware of our stress levels. Listen to your body, so that you know when stress is affecting your health. Here are ways to help you handle your stress.

Relax. It’s important to unwind. Each person has her own way to relax. Some ways include deep breathing, yoga, meditation, and massage therapy. If you can’t do these things, take a few minutes to sit, listen to soothing music, or read a book.

Make time for yourself. It’s important to care for yourself. Think of this as an order from your doctor, so you don’t feel guilty! No matter how busy you are, you can try to set aside at least 15 minutes each day in your schedule to do something for yourself, like taking a bath, going for a walk, or calling a friend.

Sleep. Sleeping is a great way to help both your body and mind. Your stress could get worse if you don’t get enough sleep. You also can’t fight off sickness as well when you sleep poorly. With enough sleep, you can tackle your problems better and lower your risk for illness. Try to get seven to nine hours of sleep every night.

Eat right. Try to fuel up with fruits, vegetables, and proteins. Good sources of protein can be peanut butter, chicken, or tuna salad. Eat whole-grains, such as wheat breads and wheat crackers. Don’t be fooled by the jolt you get from caffeine or sugar. Your energy will wear off.

Get moving. Believe it or not, getting physical activity not only helps relieve your tense muscles, but helps your mood too! Your body makes certain chemicals, called endorphins, before and after you work out. They relieve stress and improve your mood.

Talk to friends. Talk to your friends to help you work through your stress. Friends are good listeners. Finding someone who will let you talk freely about your problems and feelings without judging you does a world of good. It also helps to hear a different point of view. Friends will remind you that you’re not alone.

Get help from a professional if you need it. Talk to a therapist. A therapist can help you work through stress and find better ways to deal with problems. For more serious stress related disorders, like PTSD, therapy can be helpful. There also are medications that can help ease symptoms of depression and anxiety and help promote sleep.

Compromise. Sometimes, it’s not always worth the stress to argue. Give in once in awhile.

Write down your thoughts. Have you ever typed an email to a friend about your lousy day and felt better afterward? Why not grab a pen and paper and write down what’s going on in your life! Keeping a journal can be a great way to get things off your chest and work through issues. Later, you can go back and read through your journal and see how you’ve made progress!

Help others. Helping someone else can help you. Help your neighbor, or volunteer in your community.

Get a hobby. Find something you enjoy. Make sure to give yourself time to explore your interests.

Set limits. When it comes to things like work and family, figure out what you can really do. There are only so many hours in the day. Set limits with yourself and others. Don’t be afraid to say NO to requests for your time and energy.

Plan your time. Think ahead about how you’re going to spend your time. Write a to-do list. Figure out what’s most important to do.

Don’t deal with stress in unhealthy ways. This includes drinking too much alcohol, using drugs, smoking, or overeating.

I heard deep breathing could help my stress. How do I do it?
Deep breathing is a good way to relax. Try it a couple of times every day. Here’s how to do it.

Lie down or sit in a chair.
Rest your hands on your stomach.
Slowly count to four and inhale through your nose. Feel your stomach rise. Hold it for a second.
Slowly count to four while you exhale through your mouth. To control how fast you exhale, purse your lips like you’re going to whistle. Your stomach will slowly fall.
Repeat five to 10 times.

Does stress cause ulcers?
Doctors used to think that ulcers were caused by stress and spicy foods. Now, we know that stress doesn’t cause ulcers ― it just irritates them. Ulcers are actually caused by a bacterium (germ) called H. pylori. Researchers don’t yet know for sure how people get it. They think people might get it through food or water. It’s treated with a combination of antibiotics and other drugs.
Source: Office on Women's Health in the Department of Health and Human Services

Experience you can trust for the whole family...

Fees for Individual, Family, and Marital Therapy:
My fee for therapy is $125/hour.

I bill most major insurance companies for services rendered. I am approved to provide services through Mayo health systems, Rochester schools, Rochester city and county, United Behavioral Health (UBH), Blue Cross Blue Shield, Blue Plus, UCARE, Medical Assistance etc. Most people have co-payments between $10 and $25 once they have met their deductible.

I request 24-hour notice for cancellation of appointments, with the exception of emergencies. If you have any questions about my services, please feel free to call me at 507 259-8107 or email me - there is no fee for this. I will get right back to you.

Hours: Days and evenings

Phone: (507) 259-8107
Office: 1530 Greenview Drive SW, Suite 108A, Rochester, MN 55902

Learn more about Mark White's experience in individual, couple and family therapy.

Home | About the Practice | About Mark | Contact Us
ADHD Information | Anxiety FAQ | Anger Management FAQ | Benefits of Healthy Marriages
Depression FAQ | Coping with Divorce | Parenting FAQ | Improving Parent-Child Relationships
Presentations | Resources | Step-Families | Stress Management FAQ | Site Map

© Copyright 2004-2008 Rochester Marriage Counseling.com. All rights reserved.